ABOUT GOTTMAN APPROACH TO COUPLES THERAPY

(from the The Gottman Institute website)

John and Julie Gottman's research shows that to make a relationship last, couples must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other’s hopes for the future. The Gottman's have shown how couples can accomplish this by paying attention to what they call the Sound Relationship House, or the seven components of healthy relationships.

 

Build Love Maps: How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, his or her history, worries, stresses, joys, and hopes?

 

Share Fondness and Admiration: The antidote for contempt, this level focuses on the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. (To strengthen fondness and admiration, express appreciation and respect.)

 

Turn Towards: State your needs, be aware of bids for connection and respond to (turn towards) them. The small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of relationship.

 

The Positive Perspective: The presence of a positive approach to problem-solving and the success of repair attempts.

 

Manage Conflict: We say “manage” conflict rather than “resolve” conflict, because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects. Understand that there is a critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.

 

Make Life Dreams Come True: Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations.

 

Create Shared Meaning: Understand important visions, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship.

 

Please feel free to visit The Gottman Institute website for further information.